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meet the team


Porgie

Chief officer of Food

Oversees snack distribution, quality assurance, and meal-time compliance. Known for conducting frequent audits to ensure food is up to code.

Special Talents: Sous-chef, and quality control of butter.

Petey

Customer Service Representative

Although we have had numerous complaints regarding her interrupting customer concerns to howl at a floating bag, we assure you she has a huge heart.

Special Talent: Looking depressed

Lieutenant Dan

Director of Operations

“plans are worthless, planning is everything”

Dan Dan lives by this moto on a daily basis; solely out of necessity due to his uniquely short attention span. Although he continuously sets new standards as our number one director of operations.

Special Talent: Although he is completely deaf he can still hear the opening of a chip bag from the other room.